The trouble with her.
by Kathryn Elizabeth
Summary: J/C with Kellin in the middle.
1. Default Chapter

Unforgettable.  
  
  
He would never forget the moment he set eyes on her. She was captivating in each and every way. But, he knew in his heart that the ship was always going to be her first priority, and that she would never be his until she knew that the ship was home. He also knew that when the ship did get home, he would be tried and imprisoned. After all, Starfleet helped to kill the rest of the Maquis, so he was the highest ranking (as far as ranks existed in the organisation) one left. He would almost certainly be made an example of. Thus, he held no hope for Kathryn ever to be his. She would forever be on a pedestal, and never in his arms. He hoped that when he came to explain this in his personal log that evening that it would make sense, and not feel so much like a betrayal as it did right now.   
  
He didn't love Kellin as he did Kathryn, but this woman was also beautiful, even if it was in a very different way. She too was very clever, but knew about different things to that which Kathryn knew. So, although a very different woman, she was no less, a woman, and she was throwing herself at him. He was only human after all, and he needed, if only for a short time, to be told that he was needed, that he was... dare he hope? Loved. This was something that Kathryn could not give him, it was her weakness, as far as he was concerned.   
  
His relationship with Kathryn was an uncertain one, and had been subjected to many setbacks. Whether the Borg, Hirogen, Q, take your pick, they had come through and had remained friends. There had once been a point where he thought that he might be more to Kathryn than just a friend, on a planet, where they had been stranded, and thought they would never be able to leave. But she had still not given up hope on leaving, she simply would not accept not being able to conquer this problem. He thought that she had gone insane, but she had been right not to loose faith, they had indeed been rescued. After this incident things were tense between them. He had to revert to calling her Captain again, rather than Kathryn, and once, when he made a mistake and called her Kathryn in a briefing, he thought she would march him straight down to the Brig! Instead, she just "defined" some more "parameters". Those are words he hopes never to hear again.  
  
Chakotay realised then and there that if he could not be by Kathryn's side, even as just a friend or subordinate, then his life would be finished. He could not live a life that lonely, without the woman he loved, even if she could not return that love. She was after all his best friend too.  
  
  
  
Kathryn looked across at the empty chair beside her, and sighed. She was careful not to make it obvious though, she did not want the crew seeing her so vulnerable. She missed her best friend already, and knew that at this very moment he was with her. Kellin. She seemed like a lovely woman, but also a mysterious one. She could not understand how Chakotay could ignore the danger of the situation. He was so innocent as far as love was concerned, and she did want him to have to deal with the pain of a broken heart. She knew about that. Her heart could nom longer be pieced back together, it was irreparably damaged, after everything she had been through. The last brake had been the worst though. The slow loss of Chakotay. She wanted to be able to give him the love and reassurance he needed, she wanted to be his lover, but she could not. Her first responsibility was to the crew of voyager. She had to get them home. The only problem was, she came closer everyday to telling Chakotay of her love for him. Someday soon she would lose the battle inside and tell him, but maybe not soon enough if Kellin got her claws in.  



	2. The trouble with her- Part Two

Unforgettable 2.  
  
  
  
Kathryn was not impressed. She had spent all morning in Astrometrics with Seven trying to sort out one of the few remaining glitches in the new system. She had asked Chakotay to cover her shift on the bridge as a result... However, when she arrived on the bridge that afternoon... she found no Chakotay there... Tuvok was sitting in her seat instead.  
"Where is the commander?" She though he must be in his office, catching up with paperwork.  
"He did not report to the bridge for duty this morning Captain" She could have been imagining it, but she could have sworn Tuvok enjoyed telling her this...  
"Right, I will be back as soon as possible, Tuvok, until then, you have the bridge"  
"Aye, Captain"  
  
Kathryn was furious, she couldn't believe that he would forget his duty shift. She knew he was doing it as a favour, but that was no excuse for not turning up. He was supposed to be on duty at that time anyway, but it was allowable for him to be doing other duties off the bridge usually. These might include helping in engineering, or overseeing any special projects that were going on at the time. These duties he would share with Kathryn, but she usually left him to be a part of them, as she knew he enjoyed the break in routine, however, the astrometrics job needed Kathryn's specialist help.  
  
  
  
Chakotay was walking down the corridor lost in thought. Kellin had certainly surprised him that morning. Marriage. He had never thought he would marry anyone. It just wasn't his...style. He was jolted out of his reverie when he bumped bodily into a crewman. But when he looked down, he realised it wasn't just any crewman, it was the Captain.   
"Good Afternoon Commander" She said in a sarcastic and steely voice, "Have you decided that you might attend your duty shift at some point?" He had forgotten with all the confusion over Kellin's proposal, that Kathryn had asked him to cover her bridge shift. He knew from the look on her face and the tone of her voice she was very angry. To be honest, he didn't blame her, just recently, he had been a little disorganised with his time. He had been late for every one of his duty shifts this week, and he knew of her hatred of lateness. The problem was he really wanted to talk to her, about the proposal, she was his best friend, and she was the only one he could talk to about all of this.  
  
The problem was, did he want to marry someone, whom he risked not even remembering the next day, and they couldn't even register the marriage, as all trace of it would be erased from the memory banks of the computer. He wasn't even sure if he loved Kellin, or if he was just settling for the next best thing to Kathryn. He was in no doubt, he loved Kathryn, but he had realised that he could also be happy with another woman, as long as he didn't lose Kathryn's friendship. That was the most precious thing in his life. But, Kellin was sure to want to return to her home, or at least, somewhere planetside... she was not good at being in space for long [periods of time, and even now, he could tell, she craved terra firma.  
  
"Sorry, Captain, I will report to the bridge immediately." He tried to make it sounds as gentle as possible, he didn't want to fight with her right now.  
"Very good, Commander, and as penance, I think that B'Elanna needs an extra pair of hands on tonight's repair crew team. I think that you could volunteer." She was incredibly annoyed indeed.   
  
  
  
What Chakotay did not know was that, she wouldn't have minded if she didn't know that Kellin was involved. But she hated the thought of him spending time with that woman, and the fact that he spent time with Kellin in preference to spending it with her, really upset her, even though she knew that was how it worked when people were going out with each other.  
  
Kathryn turned away from Chakotay, to enter the turbolift behind her, but was stopped when she heard his voice calling her name.  
"Kathryn, I was wondering if you were free for dinner this evening, I have something I want to discuss with you." He looked so vulnerable as he said this, and evidently required her help, she couldn't deny him what he asked, and her manner softened as she replied  
"Yes, of course, meet me in my quarters at 20.00" At this she began her entry into the turbolift again.  



End file.
